This is a short post about a guy I have a lot of respect for and enjoy talking to.
Kenneth Lo Shau Hui.
Kenneth and Vivian
He, in his own words, was a typical Ah Beng all his life, then he came to study in UNSW, and became a Christian here. After graduating and working for a few years in Singapore, he came back to Sydney to study Theology. He is currently in his 3rd year, he would be heading back to Malaysia to become a pastor.
Kenneth is probably about 10 years older than me, about 30 years old, married to a woman called Vivian, who he met at UNSW too. Kenneth loves Vivian, and it is something that people around them can see - and they are expecting a baby in a couple of months.
Thats the short intro. Now the real thing:
One thing I appreciate about Kenneth is that he gives me the benefit of the doubt. When I come to him discussing issues that I struggle with - he does not assume I am stupid and am plain sinful. While it is true that the major bulk of my problems are because I am sinful, he explains things to me in much more helpful ways rather than "Joel, you are very sinful, please grow up".
He talks in a way that acknowledges that I have thought things through, and allows me to attempt explaining things about m mind which I find hard to put into words. I have talked with many people who are not able to recognize the question behind the question. From what I can feel, Kenneth always know that I have a deeper question behind the surface question that I ask, and deals with me gently as he exposes issues of godliness, or rather ungodliness.
The next thing I appreciate is his lack of pretense and humility. While he is older than me, he is married, he has experienced more things than I, and dealt with a variety of people - he talks plainly with me. I say humility because he is indeed wiser than I, yet he talks with me as with a friend. He genuinely considers me an equal, and not a little boy to be taught, rather an adult to discuss things with. I appreciate that honour.
Bible Study Group 2008
I say lack of pretense, because I know there are many people out there who pretend to know more things than they really do, me included. I know how I often come up with some bullshit reasoning that is carefully crafted, so that I look wise - when I am asked questions that I don't have answers to. Kenneth doesn't know everything in the world, nobody does - difference is that he admits that in a genuine way, all of the time, in everything he does. Kenneth is open to admit his weaknesses, not in the tone of "well yeah... nobody is perfect", but rather "I want you to know that I struggle with the same thing as you do, so hang in there brother, because Jesus is faithful".
The third thing I respect about him is the way he handles issues plainly. Let me illustrate this:
Last year, Kenneth and I were in the same Bible study group - of course he was the leader, and I am most glad of that. So our group went for an outing to... Bondi Beach I think, Vivian was with us. Well, for those of us who went there before, it would be quite common to see women sun bathing without their tops. So after sometime at the beach, we wanted to take a group picture, so all the guys got into a row, and I was standing beside Kenneth. About 4 metres away, I noticed a beautiful woman (I think) - topless, tanning her self and taking a nap.
This is the core of it all.
If you were Kenneth, standing beside me, WHAT WOULD YOU SAY?
Pretend not to see?
Oh no?
WOW?
Haha Joel, I caught you staring! ?
Eh! Don't see lah! ?
All these responses would tell something about your personality. Any one of them would reveal at least one thing about your maturity. I wonder, what would you say to me?
I am not sure if anybody out there can appreciate what Kenneth is about to say. Maybe if you were good in psychology, you would recognize something? Maybe if you have talked with different types of people, you might appreciate it.
This is what Kenneth said.
"Not very helpful for our godliness huh..."
Kenneth saw it. I saw it. He knew I saw it. I recognize something and I appreciate it, not because I know lots of things about humans, or I understood deep principles of human thinking... but rather, what he said was so true. It was a mature response.
He didn't pretend not to see it. He didn't correct my behaviour as though the issue was not moral by nature. He did not waste the opportunity to reveal something about my heart, and about the matter at hand. He did not say things like "haha I caught you" as though he was a very holy person who is out of this world or he was a gay.
It has been a year since that event, but I remember those words clearly. Kenneth acknowledges the problem, and diagnosed the issue well, and handled the situation well.
Fourthly, Kenneth is not falsely humble. I know people like that. I think false humility is worse than pride - its the worst form of pride. I remember discussing what Paul said "Imitate me, as I imitate Christ" with Kenneth. To cut the length discussion short - we were saying how we find ourselves so inadequate in every way to tell the same thing to other Christians - "Imitate me, as I imitate Christ". And Kenneth was also saying that we could also practice false humility, or be irresponsible as Christian to avoid saying that statement, and of course, trying to live that out.
There are really many more things that I admire about Kenneth. I don't normally say this of anybody - but Kenneth is somebody I would want to imitate as I seek to imitate Christ. If I was another person, and I read the post I just typed, I would be afraid that this person is almost worshipping Kenneth. But the one thing I really respect about Kenneth is how he shifts the spotlight away from himself.
He always identifies himself and comes to my level of understanding of things to work things through, points to the Bible, admits his sinfulness, and help me put my trust in God - he doesn't quite just "pray for Joel" - but he recognizes that his struggles are not much different than mine, so he always prays not only for me, but also for himself when we pray together.
I'm feeling very... um... favoured by God to have such a friend in my life. (Yes, I refuse to use the word blessed, not because I have something against it, but almost nobody really understands what that Christian jargon means)
I pray that Kenneth and Vivian will continue to love Jesus more and more and help many others do the same too. On this whole "becoming more and more like Jesus" journey, Kenneth is definitely a major milestone that I want to reach. It is just that as of now, I lack all of those things that I respect and admire. Well, it is gonna take some time - and yes, there are quite a few other people that I still kinda respect and admire, not quite as much, but still do - but what I appreciate more about those people are that they keep putting in effort to make themselves better people, and they are wonderful people who puts others first, wise, caring, and lots of other nice things. Enough of the guys -
Among them are 3 sisters in Christ: Jesslyn Ding, Teoh Sze Wen, Mandy Khoo
Ah, if you do happen to see these people, please do treat them extra nicely. God knows how much they have sacrificed to put others first.
