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Wednesday, April 28, 2010

The ridiculous balance

Work has been taking too much of my time, bust since I'm on MC, i've got a little to spare.

In life, consciously and subconsciouly lots of people seek a balance in life:

The right proportion for work or studies,
The just right amount of time you spend with friends
The right amout to distribute to your hobbies
The right amount for this and that

Hopefully, after spending their time, finances, and affections in some near-right proportion, they will stumble upon the recipe for success and happiness. While some do it consciously - especially those who lack time, most people do it subconsciously.

In search for the divine balance where the good life is hidden

Much more could be say about the good life - the good good eternal life that is full of joy, goodness, and a whole new taste for uprightness and be able to live in such a world...

Much more could be said about that, but what I want to point out here is just that:
"If you are a normal human being like me, you probably won't get the divine balance"

Most of the time, people don't expect to reach the best brew for life. They just hope to "aim for the moon, and even if you miss, you will land among the stars" sort of thing. While that might sound like a good way to think about life - at least experience tell you otherwise.

There have been too many so-called "successful" people in the corporate world who try to juggle severything. The classic example is super-mom. High up in the corporate world and trying to care for her 2 children and at the same time having tea parties to attend to.

The thing is this: super-mom model Angelina Jolie herself is not juggling it well. She has more fame, more kids, and more many things. Now, some of you might think, if I had half of her kids, half of her money, and half of her causes to fight for, then I should be able to juggle it well.

This might need more convincing, but that while limited resources is an issue, diverse affections is probably the main reason this can't be done. People want to be passionate about things, and the more important you get in the eyes of the world (and of yourself), the more significant you want your role to be in the life and activity of many things. However, as an average human being ( and for argument's sake lets assume you are as good as Angelina), you still can't balance everything out.

What I am trying to get here is that the thinking of "divine balance" is not the best way to proceed in life. There are too many unknowns. What you know is that you are searching for this thing called "happiness", and you would understand happiness to be a combination of different things in particular proportions in life.

A much better way to organise life is to think in terms of priorities.
If you have been around the web long enough reading forwarded emails, then you probably heard of the professor who took a big glass jar into class. He then filled it up with big stones, then smaller ones, then pebbles, and then finally sand. He then explained that our life is like the empty jar, we can't fill everything in, but let us make sure the big things in life are in first, then the lesser ones. It is alright if not all the sand that you have (menial things) gets in to the jug, you have tried your best, and at least the big things are in already.

I'm aware that actually many people think in terms of priorities instead of a chasing of the divine balance. the problem of chasing for the divine balance is the rich man's problem. It is always the rich man's problem.

When you start getting successful and rich, you start to think that you have a bigger jar in life. Since you have a bigger jar, you might just be able to fit almost everything in that jar - so you think that you are the group of people (consciously or subconsciously) who can play the game of life by a different set of rules. You think you have risen above the average and you pat yourself on the back for being so smart for so long - and suddenly on your deathbed (hopefully earlier than that) you realize that you have been an idiot for the past few decades.

There are other reasons that contribute to this stupidity too. If you do get there, you might one day think "I have put all my big stones in the jar first, and followed the whole big to small principle, but my life is still so miserable". Good - you have reached a dead end. Many people don't get there, instead, they just get trapped at either divine balance or mere priority principle.

The most obvious ones are to think that the big stones are work and significance in life.when that becomes the big stones, the things that ought not to be big stones have taken the place of them and your jar has now 50% less space which should take much less space.

Motivational seminars normally just tell you up to the point of: Write down the "big stones" in your life according to you.

Nobody really tells you what the big stones ought to be. And the way people live is an epitome to the fact that work and fame is the biggest stone in life. Now, you might disagree with my evaluation of society's biggest stones - but it does remain that these 2 plays a big big role.

1. What you could work out from here is to find out "what are the REAL biggest stones?"

2. Work out the method by which you will find that out - trial and error? most people spend a lifetime to work these things out, and most don't get there finally. Or at least, on their deathbed, they replace "work" with "family", then they die after 4 months of realizing that - which is still an unproven theory in their mind.

3. If you fancy this, then work out the various expressions people have in trying to go with the priority principle method to life, or divine balance, or a mix of both, or work out other alternatives in which people try to organise their lives. What is the underlying worldview or philosophy that is cuasing them to live like that. Is it hedonism, or is it something else?