Little Stones

A fine cool day,
walking down the lonely path,
Little stones along the way,
dashing against my foot.

Such are these days. Everything I need is here, the good things in life to cheer me up; the little assurances I love to have - a home to stay, money to spend, academics which are doing pretty okay. God is in the picture, Christian and non-Christian friends surround me - there is fellowship, there is ministry.

Yet, the journey is not an easy one. Academics keep me on my toes. Hope strengthens me when I grow tired and weary. Not too strong, but strong enough to give me assurance that I will be able to endure.

Yet, it is not only marked with busy-ness as a routine, but also pricks. A piece of my heart is somewhere, somewhere it does not belong. My eyes grant me memories that brings pain to my heart. Everyday, I am reminded of the pain - and these thoughts keep my mind troubled all the time. The seemingly trivial things that are not trivial at all... they hurt my feet, I grow weary of walking - yet they cannot kill me.

Living between life and death - a full life belongs to me. Struggles have never been so consistent, such energy has never been required of me. Yet for the glory of this struggle, such is this life. Between here and a land far away, between life and death.

This life demands my vision to see heaven and earth, yet not a place somewhere in between. A call to have such violence that is gentle! A cry and a shout in the form of a plea. The identity of a man, yet being the bride. A position that desires to give - so much... yet is constantly receiving. A promise of acceptance and belonging, yet Home is somewhere in the distant future.

In this world you have tribulation - but be of good cheer, for I have overcome the world.

What is it that You have overcome? Your overcoming has granted vision of the strength of hope - If hope is already this strong, how much greater shall the realization be?

Little stones strike my feet along the way,
Until the largest boulder take me Home.