Puberty

It porbably sounds a little off to put the title that way because I'm used to associate the word with growing up in biological terms - like getting to a certain age. But this time, I'm talking about growing up in my thoughts, maturing to arrange priorities in life, etc.

Coming back from Mid Year Conference, a few things I am considering more serioiusly.

Learning what it means to worship God - has given me much more framework to consider one big question...

Joel...

What will I do with God's life?

For the 5 days, the question becomes more and more serious as I realize that my life here is temporal, it is technically wrong to say "my life" - it should be more like... God's life that He gave me to steward.

I have been thinking about becoming a pastor some day - and preach the gospel for the rest of my life - as the glitters of this world dims.

Tears have been shed, as I see how trying to run my life my own way has caused much destruction wherever I go. I no longer have the leisure of time, though I catch myself squandering this thing that money cannot buy.

I pray, as God transforms my mind and corrects my priorities - I will no longer regard a selfish personal reputation a thing to be concerned with, and much of the concerns that I have ( which so often disguises itself as a noble intention ). But through the lens of a clear mind, the so called good motives I thought I had are really selfishness in its best form.

Now I am thinking -

I have slightly more than a year left in Australia, how will I utilize this time well to be equipped for God's work in the coming days?

How will change be brought to Malaysia?

How will I learn to regard God's work as the highest priority of all works?

I'm not so much stressed as to the things external to me, but more so that I will be faithful from now till then...


There is this funny shirt I used to see:

Lead me not into temptation, I know the way already


Is a phrase that I hate to see manifest in my life - The battle within the heart. Some go around yelling against demons, but what can Satan do? Satan can hang Jesus on the cross, but he can't stop Jesus saving all mankind.

Be Thou my vision O Lord of my heart.