Con Job

Today, I met an Indonesian - at least he introduced himself that way. I met him while I was walking back from Uni. He told me that his atm card is lost because he entered a wrong pin number - the bank said he has to come back tomorrow to get the card, and he has no money to pump petrol to go home. He told me the situation was embarassing, and he wanted 20 dollars.

I only had a 50-dollar note. So I went away to look for change... a couple who sat nearby had 48.80 in change, and I said it was okay for them to give me 48.80 dollars. From a distance I could see him make a call to his friend describing his embarassing situation.

And so I gave that man 20 dollars. He thanked me, asked me if I wanted to take down his number so he could repay me again tomorrow in Uni. My mind was thinking, do I want him to repay me? Well, I'm not doing charity here, but I didn't want him to feel bad... so I said it was okay, he can take down my number and call me at his leisure.

As i left the scene, far enough almost to lose sight of him - I saw him approach an australian student...

Con man?

Well, as I think of it again now - I'm not so bothered as to whether I was cheated or not. I was just thinking... if I can do it again, would I have done it differently?

I was thinking, if Jesus was there - and since God would know the thoughts and intentions of a man's heart... He would have known that it was a con job. Knowing that, would he have given?

Now, I didn't know that man nor his intentions - but it wasn't hard to test.

1. He said he had no money to pump petrol, I could ask him to bring me to his car if he even had one.
2. I could check whether he really made a call by checking his phone.
3. Banks are closed on Saturdays - they shouldn't be asking him to come back tomorrow unless it is a wierd bank that opens on Saturday.

Even if I didn't do this, I could have ran back to the Australian student and verify if he used the same excuse. I didn't even make him put a miss call on my phone!

My mind is thinking : Joel, if you can get conned by such a thing, you must be a real idiot.

But my mind is also thinking: Would I lie and tell him I don't have 20 dollars? Or would I tell him that I think he is a con man and he doesn't deserve 20 dollars... Maybe I will tell him - here is 20 dollars, REMEMBER that I am a Christian...

(Just so he knows that he conned a Christian, and even if he doesn't see me anymore in this life, he better remember that Jesus is going to judge him... and he better repent this life or face the consequences when he meets Jesus the Judge)... well, its just typical of me to like thinking that everything I do have some good consequences even if it isn't handled the best way.

Sometime ago I was talking with some friends and we happened to talk about giving money to beggars. Some of them told me that the beggars were con men and they are pretty well off really, living off the pity of gullible people.

After some thought, I said... I would give them money anyway even if they are con men. They are in such a depraved state, their actions are not worthy of any honour (I think beggars have more honour than them)... I would pity them and give them the money.

On the other hand, if they are not con men, and I didn't give them the money they need to eat dinner the same night - than I am being merciless and have caused a man to go starving...

I said that with the idea that giving would mean a few ringgit... not 20 dollars which would convert to about 50 ringgit now. What I did today - I have very little idea if I did the right thing. If he didn't get 20 dollars off me, he would have gotten it off another person. If he did get 20 dollars off me (which he did), he would go around to get more 20 dollars anyway.

If I exposed him in public... I don't know what will happen. Is his dignity worth 20 dollars? Or is it that I am so gullible - that my intelligence is worth less than 20 dollars? I would like to think of it as the former. I mean - I would like to think of myself as a good person. Yet I know... I thank God didn't create my forehead with a screen that would display all my thoughts, cos that would be disasterous...

I know deep in my heart - not only short comings and weaknesses... but also the struggles with lust and all sorts of temptations and laziness that I have to face everyday.

I'm happy that Crystal thinks well of me. I really am happy of that. Having said that, I have to maintain a cool head and not get carried away. After all, it is pretty easy to live like a damn confident person who has no flaws when others only see us once in a while. I have friends that think well of me too... but the better they think well of me, the more I realize that they must know who I really am and what I struggle with.

Or else, they might just be living with an imaginary Joel. Neither do I want to live the life of an imaginary Joel. Very much like infatuation... She is so pretty, she is so hot, she is so smart, she is so perfect... She is flawless.

I have to deal with sin seriously and work on godliness... even if I can hide it from others, I won't be able to hide it from my wife... even if I hide it from my wife, God will see. And maybe the issue isn't really whether someone would catch me doing the wrong things and saying the wrong words...

It is just about wanting to give the genuine best to the people that I value in life. Though I am far away from that ideal- and I doubt I will ever reach that in this life... The little things that I need to remember is that both the journey and the destination is important.

Jesus promises in the Bible that one day I will be free from this sinful body (and it isn't in this life on earth but in heaven). Until then(and onwards), I will live an honest and transparent life... I will make honest effort, because I know that I am not alone in this effort. I know that God is helping me, and by making this effort - I also encourage others who are making the same effort, as well as receiving their encouragement simply by persevering.

Con job? Should I have given or shouldn't I have given?
I really don't know. My answers to my friends wouldn't be as definite as before. (back of my head: I don't mind getting cheated of 5 ringgit.... but 50 ringgit is a bit too much...)

Well, for the very least, I don't want to con myself to live an imaginary life.
For the very least, I want people to expect honesty from me.
For that, I better be honest to myself.