Office Times

26th December 

A day after I went fix the roof as some roof tiles somehow were not in place, and it leaked when it rains.

Fikri  : "Eh Jo, s'malam Christmas buat ape?"

Joel   : "Tak buat ape ape lah, tolong bapa baiki bumbung..."

Fikri  : "apasal baiki bumbung tibe-tibe, Santa Claus datang ke..."

Azry   : "Eh, Santa Claus tak datang rumah engkau ke?"

Fikri  : "Rumah ku takde terowong asap..."

Azry   : "Kan ade window, diorang boleh masuk kat tingkap sane la..."

Fikri  : "Oh boleh... Eh, tak 'leh, rumah ku ada grill. Nak masuk pun tak boleh jugak..."

Ah... its good to have colleagues like these, no? Anyway, click here for an article of how Saint Nicholas became Santa Claus, how people came to think that he enters the chimney, and how the holiday became a remembrance for Jesus' birth!

30th December

While my colleagues and I went down to the canteen for a drink, to find that our manager and 2 other senior engineers were also having a drink there...

Keh: "Eh, You orang ada pergi mana countdown ah? Dataran Merdeka? KLCC? I kasi tau you hor, tak payah pergi lah. Nak tengok fireworks, boleh tengok TV. Dataran Merdeka ada, KLCC ada"

Fikri: "haha... banyak channel jugak. ASTRO kan..."

after a few seconds...

Sheikh: "Kalau hujan macam mane?" (for those who have no idea, ASTRO doesn't work well when it rains due to an effect called rain fade which degrades the signal quality)

Keh: "Sana pun hujan ma.."

after a few seconds...

Keh: "Boleh pasang terrestrial antenna mah!" (this implies that we can receive the signal at least from the non-ASTRO channels)

Azlan: "Dah tak tengok(TV1, 2,3,8,9) lah. Lepas pasang ASTRO, mana ada tengok"

I think it is quite an "engineer thing" to take things that technical... and take supposedly-jokes that seriously. Oh well, its good fun to have colleagues like these.

Not in Vain

It has been 5 weeks since I landed in Malaysia. I landed in Malaysia with big ideas of wanting to bring the newfound theology I learnt from the Bible back to church.

I was thinking that perhaps, by sending books and audio sermons, and presenting the "different Joel" to the church leadership, they might just be persuaded. I thought that to persuade them to read the Bible for what it is was simple: to go through verse by verse, to read the passage in context was a very appealing thing to do.

Well, it wasn't. I now know again what it is like to have ideas just being patronized. Email replies that were just send to acknowledge you - saying "Yes, I received your email or your opinion". To some extent, I expected that - but I'm in for some good surprise.

Most of the "higher position" people in church would continue of with their agenda... but there are personal friends in church, not exactly my superior in church leadership - they became interested in what I wanted to say!

But before going into that, lets start with home!

I have been sharing difficulties I encountered in sermons with my mother, and we discussed them with the Bible open. Then I prepared a quarter of my Christmas talk with my mother, and teaching her how to understand the Bible in context and make sense out of different verses at the same time. I got her some good Christian books and she is reading them - and as time passes, she is learning how to read the Bible for herself instead of just having to rely on a preacher on the stage to tell her what the Bible means. She is more and more convinced, and she is supportive of what I'm supportive now. Having said that, every time I talk with her, I wanted her to know that she didn't have to take my word as truth, but that she could find the truth in the Bible - and she did and continues to do so!

Besides my mom, it is my colleagues. After knowing that I'm a Christian, they asked me different things about the Bible (we did not steal time from the company to discuss these things, just in case you are wondering if I am talking about Bible things when I actually should be working - the answer is no, I did it after work was completed). 

How could it be authentic? Isn't the Quran more reliable? How could God be "Father, Son and Holy Spirit" but still be one God? Why can't Jesus just be a man? What about Prophet Muhammad?

And from simply having to reply questions, I got to explain different things about Christianity even clearer, and in the process, explain who Jesus is, and why we ought to become Christians.

Besides colleagues, I also got to share with church friends. Pointing out different areas of doubt about the sermons, highlighting different parts where the Bible was taken out of context to just support an argument of theirs - I got the opportunity to explain about how the whole Old Testament of the Bible is actually about Jesus. How good and proper understanding of the Bible will lead to good interpretation - and how all these motivates us to truly love and fear God. My friend is interested to know more, and I am happy - because it is not easy to find people who love God's Word more than their pastor!

Then besides my colleagues, there are Nepali security guards, I know that there are some Nepali Bibles around, perhaps I could get my hands on some of them and give them to the security guards. And perhaps if they have difficulty reading it, I could arrive early for work to explain to them! I haven't done it yet, but it looks possible.

Besides the security guard, now I'm trying to get to the music leader in church. Sometimes I just find that the Christian songs we sing are so void of meaning. Only filled with words like "i praise you Lord, I love You, I worship You, I give You my life", otherwise, it is meaningless. Therefore, I'm recommending songs that have more content, that would help us reflect on more Christian things - the cross, Jesus, God's Word, etc... as we sing. I hope we will sing new songs, that would be helpful in helping us understand God better.

As if these were not enough, I'm happy to see some friends who have came back from Australia, seeking to do Christian Work in Malaysia. It is such a joy to see them, to hear the reports of their labours, and of God's faithfulness in providing them with opportunities to share the Bible - and then also to discuss with them how to rejuvenate Malaysian churches.

It was really discouraging before this, but God has given me the opportunity to see that these labours are not in vain. I know some Christian friends who are trying to do the same thing, but they have yet to see the fruits of their labour - 

I ask these friends not to give up. We sow the seeds everywhere, and God will choose to grow whichever that He desires. Whether the fruit bears in our garden, or in another brother's garden, we rejoice. Talk for me now is easy, because I see fruits. But I'm pretty sure it will not be long that I will be discouraged in many ways, but it is all worth giving thanks for. 

Thinking back (I think I said this elsewhere before), out of 10 Christians I know back in high school, only 2 are still Christians. They were the CF president, they were the little teachers, they were... and they WERE. It is sad and discouraging. But we still move on sharing the Gospel, because God still have lost children out there - just waiting to be found.

Preach it Brother!

One night, when I was talking with another pastor in a private conversation and told him that there were things that could be improved in his sermon, and listed out some things specifically. 

Admittedly, I wasn't as gentle as I should have been. This was somewhat the reply I got:

Knowing the facts is one thing, and communicating the facts is quite another. Maybe you should try preaching one day.

Being 20 years old, this was some exciting stuff. It was like "Oh yeah, you want to challenge me?" in my mind. Then I came to my senses a little later.

"Joel, you couldn't be that childish can't you? You want to learn to preach so that you can prove yourself worthy? No Joel, don't be that stupid"

It has been a week or so since that incident. 

Last Friday, I got an opportunity to share from the Bible to a small group of 30 people. I vividly remember that I got 2 other opportunities to speak last time - I was just babbling from my own experience, and trying to make some sense out of the Bible as I was speaking. It was horrible.

But this time, as I was preparing the Bible talk for Friday. I was thinking in my mind... 

"Joel, this time you have come back to Malaysia after claiming to have received sound teaching from the church in Australia. Serve the people well by sharing the Bible clearly, explaining it plainly and don't twist the Bible to suit your message. Don't shame the people that invested in your life. Gahhh! I'm so nervous"

Well, the Bible talk went quite okay. I made mistakes here and there, but generally it went well - its good to have people who are tolerant with you and put up with your mistakes.

Today, I went to church. I heard the sermon. I thought that there were aspects I couldn't agree with - but this time, I don't want to do the simple work and correct only certain points. What could I do?

• The truth of the matter is that I want to learn to share the Gospel clearly, being faithful to the text.
  

• I don't want to be looked down upon also because I am young.
  

• But neither do I want to preach the Gospel to prove myself worthy. I think it is a wrong motive altogether.
  

So, I think I want to take up the challenge:

Study the same passage that was preached. 

Put in time. Take it as a training for the future.

Preach it. Record it. Share it.

This is the current plan now. Am I willing to do it? and stick to it?

Sounds like an exciting challenge if you ask me. I think I want to take it up.

www.success.con

If you flip through "The Star" Newspapers, no doubt you will find advertisements like:

Are you fearful of the recession?

Do you have a second source of income?

"Get Rich with FOREX"

- Dr. XYZ, BA(Hons), MBA, PhD is an expert in the whole field of Foreign Exchange. For the past 20 years, he has help thousands of people achieve success in their lives, etc etc. Let him teach you the skills that you NEED to SUCCEED in LIFE!

Testimonial by Mr. Chan Ah Beng

This course has made me earn RM15,000 a month by just spending 20 minutes a day!

Testimonial by Ms. Chin Ah Lian

This course has given me financial success, now I can quit my job and stay at home! 

or maybe...

Do you know that Success in Education means Success in Life?

Your son/daughter has no motivation in life?

Your children finding no interest in their academics?

Join Mr. Beng's Memory course! Our children can memorize 20 digit numbers at ease, and score for your exams! Let Mr. Beng teach you the principles that your child needs to SUCCEED IN LIFE!

Testimonial by Lee Ah Kau, 12 years old

"I used to score 1 A, now I am scoring 19 As in UPSR!"

Testimonial by Lim Ah Miao, 17 years old

"I used to hate studying, but now I am the top student in school!"

I have went to some of these. But before I give my testimonials to them, please bear with me for a while - consider my experience and credential.

2 Business/Life Concept courses

1 Self-Esteem/Motivation course

1 Options/FOREX course

1 Creativity/Memory course

These courses would sum up to about RM20,000. These course have led me to talk business with 1 CEO and 1 Director of different companies. Both are multimillion dollar companies. Well, my proposals didn't get through, but it was a good try. To give them their credit, my academics are pretty good - and I can memorize quite well.

This is not to boast - and there isn't much point in doing so, because anybody who knows me knows that I am nowhere near "SUCCESSFUL" as far as the advertisements define. It seems that every other course has promised you SUCCESS in LIFE! In my better moments, I really feel that these things have somehow given me a successful life... 

However, in my more sober moments, I know that these things mean very little

For the advertisers...

It seems as though an increase in self-esteem will lead to success. 

Or increase in memory will result in success. 

Having lots of money will give you success. 

Really?

I don't doubt that many people out there think that these things will give them lasting happiness somehow - though perhaps many of us doubt that secretly inside our hearts.

When I was in high school, Success meant marrying the hottest girl in school and having lots of money to spend, with a lot of people envying and respecting me. I catch myself thinking like that often - even these days. I know some braver friends who admits it, and I know tons of friends who are more shy who would not admit it.

What is success in life?

Success is like the IN-word, the BUZZ-word for all time. Everybody wants to be successful in life, well... maybe. But I don't know anyone who wants to be a failure in life. In aiming to be successful in life, many have tried all sorts of "successes".

Money.

Girls.

Sports.

Climb to the top of the corporate ladder.

Top the university.

Get famous.

In the end, what? Tell me, what? Many of us have grown "wiser" to realize that there ain't to many spots for a "future Bill Gates". Easier alternatives are cheap beer and free internet porn. They seem to be more convenient time-killers. But as the years go by, many have become indifferent to the question 

"What is this success in life that I yearn so much for?"

But that is okay. The business people aren't really interested in answering your question anyway. After figuring out that they are also confused with the issue...

"Hey, why not make money in the process?"

Hence - success courses. Let me be frank with you, of the people I have known or asked, none of them gives a clear answer. Forget about a good one. See, there are these "spiritual" and "philosophical" people who also got confused with the issue...

"Hey, why not make the question more complicated?"

I hate to say this. But since the media is pushing so much sex, the major shareholder of the future - the youths are "enlightened" by MTV...

" F*** success... wait... to get to F*** is SUCCESS "

I was in form 3 when I first heard from a girl telling me how she got "scored" by another guy. That guy must be pretty successful in the eyes of many high schoolers. I can testify to that. Talk about peer pressure at 14.

Then again, as time goes by - we learn how fleeting these moments are. Fleeting, like the mist in the morning that appears for a little while, then gone. 

I have heard the "happy family" theory too. They tell me fun friends and a close family is the "genuine" success. This is a little more tricky. The more innocent it sound, the trickier it is. I want to ask the people who told me these things whether it is consistent with the their experience in life - is it such a good definition that can apply to all humanity at all times... being all sufficient. I've learnt that the people who always look most innocent and blur, and probably worse off than those who reveal it on the outside. 

Like Chinese you know?

Let me start off with this. I work with Malay colleagues. They are decently hardworking people. I have hung around Chinese long enough to know that most Chinese think Malays are the laziest people on earth. Ah, but don't forget, I have also hung around Chinese long enough to know that they are so sly that it is hard to catch them slacking off. We are the best actors. Chinese Drama remember? It all started from Hong Kong - Chinese. 

Hollywood doesn't know acting for nuts - They know visual effects and the like. But real acting belong to the Chinese, on screen and off screen... Boss around, Boss not around. If Boss cannot catch you slacking off - SUCCESS! 

Come on - you and I, and perhaps every other person that you know seem to strive so hard for success in life. Couldn't it bother you to spend a little more time figuring out what success in life is - if it is indeed so important. 

Maybe, for a start - to know where you are heading? Why are you heading there? and where are you supposed to head anyway?

Do you?

ANYWAY........

On a happier note, 

Something my older sister said made me realize something. It went something like...

"Our language is not broken ( broken english, broken malay, etc), it is unified"

Now, it might sound terribly lame. Lets admit it, we speak broken-whatever.

But for the past 2 days working in Astro (my office being 70% Malays), I have made friends with 3 Malay colleagues. 

I used to call friends "fren"..

when I went Australia, I learnt that they call friends as "mates"

now I have a little more Malay friends... the word of the day is "member"

It is amazing, how Malay-English-Cantonese mixed up in one sentence is understood by all 3 major races in Malaysia. Mr. Mamak also knows them.

I hear of some Chinese with political ambitions wanting to unify Malaysia in one way or the other. Most of those I am heard goes something like: 

" I will be a top politician... then I will make laws that..."

" I will be a famous (insert-your-white-collar-profession-here)... then I will... "

Self centeredness World Champion... Chinese la...

Well, based on my 2 days experience only... with no political training in any way... the best thing that we Chinese can really do isn't becoming a politician or being famous or whatever to actually create change...

We should just...

Try making some Malay friends. 

.

.

.

.

.

.

They are nice people.

Dear Family, I Love You

I landed in Malaysia on Friday, and went to Cameron Highlands on Sunday. Now, Cameron Highlands is not a terribly exciting place as far as I can remember - but going with my family makes a whole world of difference.

Before going any further, let me highlight a few things. Typical things.

I am a male. I am a Chinese. I am 20 years old.

This means that I am not exactly the kind of person who is super close to the family. While abroad, instead of missing my family... I missed Malaysian food. My grandmother passed away a few weeks before my final exams, and I felt almost no emotion... though I somehow thought that I ought to be sad - but lets face it, I am not an emotional person somehow.

While in Australia, I made up my mind that I need to love my family more when I get back. I need to spend time with them - it might mean very boring things like going fishing with dad. I want to talk with my dad and show him some love. Just when you thought it should actually be an easy thing to do, let me tell you some things about my dad.

My dad is a hard man. He provides for the family, and I see sometime how he puts in effort to show us love. But like a typical Chinese father... discipline is what he is good at, soothing words of encouragement is... it is.... YUCK. I can't imagine my father doing that. But he is a responsible father. You get it. The nicer words come from the mother.

Bottom line is this, I know it is the right and good thing to love and respect my parents although I'm not emotional over it. I know it, I just have to do it even though I don't feel like it.

I anticipate this trip to be good - I can learn to love my parents by giving them my time. Besides that, my aunt and my cousin from singapore is coming in with 4 little children. My nephews and nieces. The last time I actually had a family trip of 13 people was probably when i was 3 or 4 years old. It blows my mind how little time we actually spend together as a family.

Before the story gets interesting, let me try to introduce to you all my family - and everybody in this trip.

Dad and niece(Shannon)... Left to Right (Duh!)

Cousin, little nephew, mom, Big Aunt (pardon the direct translation from Cantonese)

Brother, his girlfriend, sister, nephew(Yong Wei), niece(Shannon), me , mom...

little niece (Ying Si) in front

(Ahh, a clearer shot!)

Ying Si, Little Aunt, and my Kakak - Ning

(the housemaid for the lack of a better term)

me, mom, sister

Pardon me for the not-so-clear shots, I know you probably read many "chick blogs" and they have clear pictures - you can't compare me with them, they practice their photo taking skills all the time: On food, in changing rooms, in toilets, in cars (while their boyfriend is driving)... The thing is this - I don't.

Like I said, Cameron Highlands isn't a terribly exciting place. So there aren't many beautiful pictures in this post... The main characters in this post are my nephews and nieces. For some reason that I am not clear of, my cousins' families aren't that well. They are divorced.

Ying Si and Wen Kai is supported by a single mother, i.e. my cousin.

As for Yong Wei and Shannon, both of their parents are absent.

My cousin has to work, so she could earn enough to feed her kids. Now if you would ponder and think, you would work out that SOMEBODY has to take care of the 4 kids. Let me introduce you the superheroine

my Big Aunt (In Cantonese, a.k.a Tai Ku Ma)

To make matters more challenging. Besides taking care of 4 kids, she is 67 years old. As if that is not difficult enough, my little nephew Wen Kai suffers from some unknown brain issue... Whatever it is called, he probably has the intelligence of a kid a third of his age.

Their mother (my cousin) has spent a significant amount of money to find a cure for Wen Kai, but things just doesn't seem to work... However, Wen Kai has improved significantly over the years, although the sickness is around. He could at least walk now, and do a few more things.

During the trip - When it was near bed time, my mom and I sat around Big Aunt to listen to her stories raising up the children. It is hard work. Raising one is hard. There are four of them. If their parents were all around, the income of 2 families would be able to support them... but instead of 2 families, it is down to a single mother who is the bread-winner. My uncle (who would be older than 67) did not join us in this trip - he is still working... the economy is bad, he fears that taking leave from the boss will make him lose his job.

I don't know how my cousin would feel raising up Wen Kai, having no guarantee that he will be cured one day - good enough to take care of himself. Everybody seems to be in deep stress, and they survive from one day to the other. I suppose their source of strength comes from their love for the kids. Maybe they are just doing what they need to do.

After the trip, Big Aunt expressed gratitude to my dad for planning this trip, to bring the kids out for a holiday. She was crying as she said her thanks. Seriously, I have no idea how much it meant to her. But somehow, I know it means a lot. She loves the kids, but the demands of life are unmerciful.

As I ponder over all these, I am reminded of my dreams of being famous, rich, respected, etc etc. They all seem so childish now. No, they are not childish... they are self centered. Yes, self-centered and selfish. Without saying anything, my Big Aunt's life shame me, as well it should. Her selfless service challenges my desire to indulge in the passing pleasures of this world. It has occured to me that I am already much more privileged than many people in the world who has to scrape the ground to search for food.

There is a Chinese saying that goes like this :

Living in prosperity yet not recognizing it

Life just isn't fair - isn't it? There are people like me who has enough money to spend, more than enough time to waste... and there are people slogging their whole lives so that they can meet ends. Perhaps, something is expected of me. As the Bible puts it: to him whom much has been given, much more will be expected. Spiderman stole it.

Now that I think of it, I remember Jesus who died as a criminal. Jesus - the Saviour of the World who laid down His Life so that our sins could be forgiven by God... Jesus was charged as a criminal who was rebelling against the Roman Government - through the hands of wicked men who framed Him as a blasphemous person... He was nailed on the cross. He could have gave up half way, but He went through all that was necessary for me, for you, for the whole world. Jesus counted the Joy of saving the world greater than the suffering and humiliation He had to go through.

Here am I, calling myself a Christian. My plan - as much as possible - is to spend the rest of my life preaching the Gospel, and to spend my money for the sake of telling others about Jesus. God's love gives me a taste for heavenly things: Without God, I could love no one, but only fall in love with my sin... digging my own grave.

Having planned out my life IN DETAIL...The next step is the hard part.

Joel

while you still can.

The time will come when everything is over, and you will meet your Maker - it won't be too late to take a rest and enjoy at that time. For now, work - rain or shine, work for the things that will matter for eternity.

A Little Note to You

Hey Joel,

I'm pretty happy for you today. You stood up and spoke what is necessary. You sent out the letters that need to be sent, and you are starting to think the way you ought to. Don't be afraid, don't be shy - you are no more a boy, you are a young man. 

Do the right thing, respect your elders, but do not be afraid to speak the truth. You can be mocked, you can be ridiculed - but speak the truth. You have been in situations where you had to made your stand where there were none called Christians, but today, you will bear witness to Christians. If you have to speak out, speak it out.

Be a man, do the right thing - even if it costs you everything.

I know you long for someone to do this with - but though none go with you, still you must move on. Believe me, God will not leave you alone. Truth matters Joel, without truth - there is nothing. Nothing. You will do well if you hold on to the truth.

Yourself,

Joel

P.S. Don't get puffed up. 

The Australian Experience

Its been 9 months already since I went to UNSW to study. When I entered it, I thought I would go in - join some clubs that would teach me campaigning skills, debating skills, shape my political mindset, and of course get my degree done with flying colours. Perhaps know people all over the world who would shape my mindset positively on whatever areas in life.

Pretty much what your parents expect of you. 

Sometimes they say it out, sometimes they don't.

Well, it turned out that I had to slog to just get revision done, and besides church - have no more time for whatever clubs. But I did get everything I wanted, and more.

I learnt that it is possible for a culture of "esteeming people of all professions equally" to exist. The construction workers dress well. The gardener and the garbage man greets you with a smile. It was weird initially for me, but I slowly caught up and learnt to say hello to strangers - with a smile... to hear them reply back "G'day !"

Now back in Malaysia, I remember to greet the waiters, smile at the janitor, and say thank you to shopkeepers.

Meeting the lecturers, I have learnt that it is possible to be patient enough to repeat what you just said more than 3 times and not blow up. They are happy to hear my questions, and they rejoice when I make progress. 

Now I have learnt to be a little more resistant to the kind of irritation that comes by being bombarded with questions - and be a little more patient. I also learnt not to rejoice at a genius only, but to rejoice when an ordinary person makes progress.

I learnt from the pastors to be diligent in studying the Bible - people might need guidance and ask questions at unexpected times. They are able to piece together different parts of the Bible and put it in an understandable way that is helpful to the hearers... instead of just giving a moral lessons based on some verses they pick out.

Now I learnt that a better understanding of the Bible also means a better understanding of ourselves, the trials that we go through, how to relate to others, and to make sense of this world we live in - economically, politically, and whatever nots.

I also met humble people - who is slowly influencing me to stoop a little lower. Humble people who makes my ego and pride look like pure stupidity... in a loving way.

Besides that, a little time off from people I am close to has made me realize what strings are controlling my life. There are some strings that need strengthening, some need to be cut off.

Of course, I also learnt to cook, do laundry, clean up, and be disciplined. 

When I sit down and think, and look around... 

Countless friends have strayed away from Jesus. 

8 out of 10? Maybe more.

But by some seemingly natural arrangement, I end up being surrounded by people whose zeal for God is only surpassed by their humility to share it with me. I learnt that in life, somethings just can't be repaid. We are just filled with gratefulness and know that it is only right that we pass it on. I also learnt that a lot of things can die off when we are contented with just talking.

God is good. How I wish that everybody can know this good God. 

When you don't know how long you will live, you know that it is never too early to do the important things in life that need to be done in life. I hope that I will be a preacher next time, and watch the effect of Jesus' death and resurrection continuing to change the world.

Hello Mc. University

I hope I don't get kicked out of university for this. 

Who would guess that I could dig out dirty things like CORRUPTION in university over lunch? Well, not that it was too hard. In fact, I didn't have to dig it, my friend just plainly told me about the corruption plainly... and enthusiastically.

To give some idea to what I might be talking about, lets talk about getting a professorship - like getting Prof. Joel Lee...

It takes quite a bit to go from getting a PhD to getting a Professorship. Just as there is a corporate ladder from slave to CEO, 

1. There is a ladder in the university.

Get a PhD

Lecturer

Senior Lecturer

Associate Professor

Professor

Yes, the bottom of the ladder is a PhD.

2. A professor cannot be fired from their position 

To grant a person professorship is to acknowledge that they have made significant contribution over the years to the field that they are in. A committee in the university decides whether they should (or not) award professorship to lecturers.

3. The criteria to pick lecturers promotion includes things like :

a) Ability to teach

b) Research capability

c) Contribution to the field

d) And other related things

Now that we are familiar with the basics:

Of course, the world would be a better place if everything goes accordingly. But we know we live in a pretty messed up world - there are professors who do not deserve their title, and there are those who slog for nothing.

I know of a lecturer who cannot teach, and it is famed among the PhD students that he couldn't care less about the work that the PhD students under his supervision does. 

His name is... 

Professor ...

Somebody

I wouldn't reveal his name of course! You want me to get kicked out of University? 

Oh wait, shit. I'm not supposed to hint you which... 

Well, one of the reasons he is still around is that he is a professor and he can't be fired. 

But the main reason is probably because he has PhD students under him that keep churning out research papers for him. Let me do some explanation:

Every year, Universities are allocated a certain amount of money by the government for research purposes. This money is called a research grant.

The amount of research grants that a university gets is directly proportional to the amount of research they can do - which is the amount of research publications that they can have. One of the main factors that determine University rankings is the research.

When you are a Professor and PhD students work under your supervision , you get to share their research paper - as though you jointly researched the issue with him. Some professors DO  work together in the research, others simply just don't. This means, as long as your student churns out papers, the University will recognize YOUR contribution to help them get grants and improve their rankings.

Do I have to mention that the criteria to promote a lecturer now is a load of trash? Well, not totally trash. But it is just terribly different from what it ought to be like.

Anyway, back to Professor Somebody. 

He doesn't even KNOW what is the title that his PhD student is producing - it is not like he could care any more about it. 

He gets his salary from the University anyway since he can't be fired. 

The university loves him because he brings in the money. 

He can't teach (he could be a genius for all I care) - but it is okay since he has some pretty genius PhD students.

Well, I'm mentioning one of the worse ones. There are good lecturers that I have. 

He started teaching in University in his 20's. Almost 30 now, and the students in the School of Electrical Engineering knows his capability. 

Graduated from Physics, but he is as competent (if not more competent) if compared to other engineering lecturers. Math Olympiad. He does good programming, physics, statistics, calculus, and of course engineering. He sets one of the toughest exam papers, his assignments are killers. But this is one thing I really appreciate about him...

He gives his time to his students. He is ALWAYS open for consultation. He explains things carefully and patiently when I don't understand. The last time I wanted to ask him about something, he was on his way out of his office, so we talked about my academics stuff as we took a walk around university. He bought me coffee as we sat down to talk.

Where do you get this kind of lecturers? 

If anybody should be a professor, he should be a professor 

Well, he is not. He is loaded with work and he has very little time to do the research that he wants to. I know geniuses having weird hobbies like research - but he doesn't get to enjoy the hobby he deserves.

I believe, part of the fault is because our businessman-Chancellor's board is allocating extra money to the business school instead of the engineering school. 

Well, it is easier to churn money out of the business school. They don't need any equipment, and everything is profit! Unlike the field I am in, you need equipment and people who knows how to use the equipment. You may be a genius, but you still need to technical knowledge to make a machine work.

Its just about the money isn't it? 

The happiness is just a trick! 

The happy meal is

$5.95

(5.95 x 2.4 > RM14)

not so happy

Last semester, I had a Cambridge PhD teaching me. Let me tell you, his teaching is hopeless. Any lecturer is better than him. He speaks monotonously to himself during class and sets low grade exam papers which are just a copy and paste of past year exam questions. 

Oh wait, maybe it was the Professor Somebody who set the papers since they both teach the same subject!

What kind of Electrical Engineering students do they let into top universities? 

Its stupid.

Rowan Atkinson studied Electrical Engineering in Newcastle, continued his MSc in Oxford. Yes, Bean is an Oxford grad.

Just when you thought getting a research paper published couldn't be worse - Many times, research publications are accepted because the editor of the journal gets a part of it. Or rather, they can be rejected because the editor was not given an intellectual property bribe.

The editor of a research journal (who resides in Denmark) just somehow appears along with the other 3 researchers in a Korean University (who actually did the real work). Of course, the editor gets the fame and the benefits that come with it. If the Korean researchers didn't "bribe" the editor, perhaps their paper wouldn't even be reviewed (to be considered for acceptance). It works both ways.

Call me naive, but I did expect less corruption in the academic field. I suppose that I have matured a little bit more in my expectations of the institutions in this world. 

The best of them are terribly flawed.

The reason I typed this out - is not so much about me being shocked that such a thing could actually happen. Rather, I am typing this out... never expecting corruption to be so common. Well, I know we Malaysians constantly complain that Malaysian ministers are corrupted. We complain that the police force is corrupted. But it works both ways. Supply and demand.

Corruption being so common, I wouldn't be surprised that we might be involved in cases like these one day - if we have not already bribed the policeman the last time we were caught for speeding. 

Or perhaps, when we bought pirated VCD... I mean DVD. Technically, we have already taken part with the people who robbed, stolen, bribed and did whatever necessary to get DVDs for 5 dollars each. We just happened to be at the other end of the process. To deny it is to somewhat say the thief didn't rob, the robber didn't lie, the liar didn't bribe - and the buyer didn't know.

As much as I write this, in my heart despising some of the people who has tarnished the once good name of the world of academia - I write this with some knowledge that I have done similar things... just that it was of a slightly smaller scale and nobody cared to talk about it anyway. If I could only see wickedness as it is, without being biased for the scale of wickedness - I would despise myself.

However, the rampant corruption has also helped me to appreciate people who worked against the flow and go unappreciated. Thank you Mr. Unappreciated Lecturer for your dedication.

Its a shame that it would be safer for me that I cannot tell the whole Cyberworld how wonderful a lecturer you are. to save my ass.

Thats just how things go - in the midst of me pointing fingers at others, I realize that I am not spared from the same charges. 

Jesus - who sits on the Judgement Throne sees everything.

Worries and Spending Money

After sleepless nights worrying about sitting for the exam itself, I no longer worry about them anymore - since they are over. Just before I shout Yippee!!! too fast - one of the things that wake me up (before the exams were over) is a small little voice at the back of my head...

"Joel, do you think they will moderate the marks for your Mathematics and Control Systems paper?"

"Do you think if you did well for your Electronics paper, the marks will compensate for those you loss in the earlier papers?"

Now that exams are over, I can't shout Yippee!!! either, because now another subject wakes me up...

"Joel, do you think your Mobile and Satellite Communications paper will make up for the marks you lost?" - "You really did make tons of careless mistakes!"

This little voices that wakes me up drives me crazy. Yet, deep within my heart, I didn't want such things to make me go crazy. It feels as though I am placing too much emphasis on my studies - so much so that I am depraving myself of setting my priorities right in life. This is no good, I start taking things for granted - and forget to be happy about the things I ought to be very thankful for.

After reading the Bible, I learn that my goal in life is not to live a life that is "successful" as the world measures it. Neither should I continue thinking of God as one who supports my fanciful fantasies of fame, success, wealth, and whatever-nots. I remember sending my mother an sms right before my final exam. She replied very quickly saying things like -

"I claim the promises of God for you! That Jesus will help you through every battle! You will conquer them in Jesus name!"

Things along those lines. The "battles in life" that she was mentioning was an exam paper...

I realize that it must be difficult for her to come to terms with the Bible - that "battles in life" isn't about academic or career success. I find it difficult too. It revealed itself when I started neglecting God as the exams pile up. I pray so much more at the examination table than my whole week outside the exam hall summed up.

What has my life become? What has my aim in life become? What has my knowing of God become? Is "battles in life" reduced to simply an endless pursuit of my fancies? What then is the difference between me as a Christian and a non-Christian?

I know the answers as to what I ought to do. And making a U-turn in my heart, to realize my faults, to own it up, and to commit myself to a clear and rational mind that desires God above everything I hold dear to (my studies, my dream-future-wife, my reputation, my petty selfish fears)...

That journey that I am somewhat familiar with, is one of the longest journeys I have ever taken in my life. This is one battle in my life. One I have to fight. Talk about fighting for someone you love - I'm far from being as noble as that, I am fighting for my very own humanity.

Its not even fighting, its really owning up - and admit that I have been living careless, and to turn around. Some... Many people think I overreact/overrespond, but if we look at our lives carefully, we will always notice that the many pitfalls we get ourselves into always started with the first wrong step. Too few things in life happen suddenly. Yet somehow, when God opens our eyes to see our faults, we get surprised. I am an idiot for that, but thank God for helping me realise that.

So often, I see the mistakes that I make in others. So often, I want to warn them and correct them - desiring that they would not fall into the things I fall into... but I know my life fails to be a good testimony. But that is also good, then they know I am not trying to teach them as a teacher, but warning them as a brother.

Talking about brothers - I remember some pretty wise saying from my older brother - Noel Lee Chee Leong

He said
"You must learn how to spend money more than how to
earn money"

I asked
"Why?"

He replied
"If you can't find a good reason to spend your money, why would you want to earn any money?"

My brother loves me, and protects me - I thank God for him. More than that, I hope my brother will come to know Jesus.

I'm heading back to Malaysia in about a week. There are so many things I learnt here in FOCUS. I doubt 3 months in Malaysia would be anywhere near sufficient to share the many experiences trying to live a Christian life I had with my friends and family. So much to do, so little time.

To make up for that, I bought books. Books that I would speak of as "I readeth, therefore I am". They are books with the very ideas that make me who I am. Well written by fellow Christians, explaining the Bible clearly and accurately.

I bought more than 30 books.
Its crazy.
It costs crazy too.
But it is worth it.

There are those for my dad, some for my mom.
Some for my pastors, some for my friends in church.
A little more for my special friend not in church.

Being as self centered as I am, I'm pretty glad that God gives me some good desires.

What more can I desire for my dad to come to know Jesus?
I desire the same thing for my mother, my sister, and my brother.

I truly desire my pastor to preach the Bible well - so that many more may come to know the Wonderful Saviour of the world - Jesus my God and King. I desire for my Christian friends to know Jesus more, to give their whole lives to Jesus, and to run this race on earth well.

I desire that my friends who are not with Jesus, to find out about this Jesus that died for their sins, my sins and the sins of the world.

Its crazy for me speak in this way and to say out what the kind of "Christian" desires. I know my life doesn't match it. I would despise myself if I saw myself in some other body. But because I am myself, I don't quite despise myself that much. The longer I live, the more my eyes grieve as I see myself in my short comings.

When I thought I was less materialistic, when I thought I was more patient and loving - how much further can I be from the truth! It is despairing.

The good thing is that I know I don't have to be fatalistic about this - I have Jesus. The whole idea that Jesus will continue to do His work in my heart so that I will become more and more like him - its so simple, its almost something that my pride cannot take. But I better do.

I'm so glad that I can spend money buying Christian books, I'm even more glad that I can practice Christianity... Jesus-ianity... Yeah...

There is this little voice that crosses my head every now and then...

I may board the aeroplane, but God knows if it will crash,or there will be some terrorist, or whatever - and I may not land where I want to. Maybe I will land where I want to, but maybe in more than one piece. If that happens, I have wasted such a big chucnk of my life thinking of things I ought not to be thinking about, and wasting time as I ought not to be wasting - the books that I bought, I will never be able to read them. My family will cry... Maybe some friends.I.Hope.Maybe.Maybe not.

If there is any better time to take the U-turn, it must have been yesterday.

Toilet Horror

Being a good and exam-stressed-out-student



I realize sometimes,



taking notes into the toilet to study single mindedly and being oblivious to the surroundings might not be the best thing to do ...

No, I didn't lay an egg...

It was a million times worse...

Horror of horrors...

I have an exam tomorrow afternoon

Can I Grow Up To Be Obama?

There were times when I would sit down and start wondering about different things in life, and I think to myself... what a wonderful world ♫

"Wouldn't it be great if Jesus was just sitting beside me, and I can ask him a million questions!"

Well, obiously, I can't actually do that. Certain things are just not in the Bible, like...

I would be praying,

"Dear God, I wonder who will I marry?"

(silence)

(more silence)

(even more silence)

zzzZzzzZZ

So, the next best thing you have is your pastor. When you have dinner with church mates along with your pastor, you start asking difficult questions. If God doesn't tell you, and if you can't find it in your Bible, and if your pastor doesn't know - it is probably some mysterious thing you shouldn't know.

LIKE WHO YOU WILL MARRY A FEW YEARS DOWN THE ROAD

WHY IS YOUR LECTURER SO BORING

WHY DO WE HAVE 2 EYES AND NOT 3 EYES

WHY CAN'T MEN GET PREGNANT

WHO WILL WIN TOMORROW NIGHT'S SOCCER MATCH

Well, only the first question. The others were just cover up questions. Its funny, when I hear a peer asking for advice from Josh.

Peer:

"Josh, what do you do - I mean, I have a friend, and he wants to ask a girl out but he doesn't know what to do, if you were him, what would you do?"

Josh:

"You mean you want to ask a girl out..."

But yeah, I asked Josh about American politics.

I shared to Josh that the tone Obama used before and after his victory was very different. So did Mccain and his defeat.

Before Obama won, we said so many "positive" things.

Together, we will bring change to Washington.

Open up possibilities.

Inspire the crowd.

Before Mccain lost, he said things like

"We will definitely win this race"

"We won't let a Socialist run this country"

After Obama won, it went like

"It (the change) might not be seen in a year, not even a term"

although things like

"Yes, we can!"

were still around.

Joel:

"Those speeches, I know he wants to inspire the crowd. But speaking in such a way as though they can literally do ANYTHING just isn't true. I mean, yes, ALL things are possible, IF you vote me, IF the cabinet is very cooperative, IF no other regular disasters strike America, IF this and IF that - there are a million conditions"

" Just like Mccain talking about winning - I know they (Obama and Mccain) wants to win and they want to persuade the crowd to vote for them. But how can they possibly both win and speak in such a way? It feels like lying - all the promises before and after the election"

"It seems as though, if they didn't said such things which were very much like those 'self-fulfilling prophecies' (you pronounce a wish, and you do your best to keep to it, and if you succeed, then you have fulfilled your own prophecy... part of the trick is to pronounce the wish in such a way as if it must happen, IT MUST HAPPEN! and hope that you will somehow be inspired to persevere - it is just another word for self-motivation I think) - IF they didn't say it, forget about being President, they might not even get to become a Senator. With that in mind then, how can it be possible that a Christian who wants to be true to his conscience and to God - speak truthfully to the crowd?"

" I know that in the speaker's mind - he knows the million "IFs". But in his speech, he mentions almost none of the little footnotes! I know the people who listens to Obama are not entirely stupid, and they - to some extent - know some of the footnotes. But the whole thing about not mentioning the little warning signs just feels very deceitful"

"To take it to a more personal level. If you are the coach of a soccer team - you gotta tell them ' WE WILL WIN THIS MATCH GUYS! YOU CAN DO IT!' its the kind of pep talks you just gotta say

(some of the words were actually by Josh, I just wrote them as everything said by me as it is hard to type out a full 10 minutes conversation)

Well, that wasn't exactly the conversation. But that was the idea. Josh agreed on the fact that it also happens when you want to encourage your son - "Go Jordan, you can do it!". He pondered over the fact if saying such things that Obama spoke : can it be considered an outright lie? or not?

This scene reminds me very much of Batman - when Two-Face held the wife and the kids of Mr. Inspector-Guy in ransom.

Two Face said something like:

"Tell your kids everything is going to be fine. LIE! LIE AND TELL THEM EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE!"

The fact is this. Nothing is fine. Batman could have arrived 1 second late. Well, of course, in movies, he can't. But in real life, sometimes somebody dies because the ambulance arrived a little to late. A bank is robbed and robbers get away because the police is too late.

In a real world, certain things just can't be promised for sure.

Josh said that he will think through it. I look forward to his answer.

US Elections and Exams Must be Clouding My Mind

I went shopping.I saw a section for stationery.

And guess what they sold?




UNSW Past Year Exam Papers that comes with SOLUTIONS!
I saw the '04, '05, and '06 papers! ( In the real world, we students don't get access to ALL of the past year papers )

How AMAZING. Now I can be more prepared for my final examinations.

Then I entered into a high school, SMKSJ. Many of the students joined the LEO club.

LEO club was actually not the normal LEO club that we know, but it was actually a REPUBLICAN Political party.

Lee Kuan Yew was actually from the LEO Club in that school and the Principal of the school was a member of the Parliament. Many of the students that attended the school are actually students with political ambitions - probably to take over the country, studying was just a cover up.

Then... I woke up.

ANYWAY, the main point of this post is a pretty good article in Facebook from my High School friend

Cheng Leong

It is about the US Elections

Here goes:

For many including myself, Barack Hussein Obama's victory in his campaign for the 44th US Presidency represents the simple triumph of rational and liberal thought over racial bigotry. It is a rare gust of fresh air onto the rotten stage of politics, especially within our local arena where the real criterion of leadership has become truly questionable.

Indeed, the long-range effects of Obama's worldshakers have been felt right here at home. Already many of my fellow acquaintances are wondering aloud if Malaysia would ever have a non-Bumiputra at its helm.

But let us not get too ahead of ourselves. Here, we must take care to not overstate the significance of Mr.Obama's African heritage. It is equally important to remember that we are not celebrating the defeat of a previously dominant race, nor the triumph of any particular minority (though the afro-americans could hardly be called a minority).

Instead, what is worth applauding here is a nation that has progressed enough in its ideals of equal opportunity that it can appoint a man that it thinks has the necessary qualities to become its leader, DESPITE the color of his skin.

White Obama Black McCain. Credit to Tor Myhren.

The poster beseeches us to let the issues be the issues. It is a pretty well-made point: look underneath the surface and understand what each candidate (or party in our case) is actually advocating. Let us also realise that race is ultimately just a human concept, and it can be readily cast aside if only we allow ourselves to look beyond it.

It is my hope that one day, our nation would grow up enough to be able to do the same. To those who have been hoping for a Chinese or Indian PM, let race not be an issue here. If a man is best positioned to govern our country, then by all means put him there, whatever the color of his skin. In fact, I believe the best thing to happen to Malaysia right now would arrive in the form of a Bumiputra reformist, simply because it would be far easier for him to restore the faith and rebuild trust amongst the races.

Do recall that in late 19th century, it took a white man, Abraham Lincoln, and one of the bloodiest wars in American history in order to end Black Slavery. The US did not elect a non-white president on a whim. The path leading to this long awaited election was paved by great revolutionaries and ordinary people alike, who believed in fighting for what they felt in their hearts was right. It was not until today, more than 200 years since its formation, that the United States finally proved once and for all that it was capable of overcoming any racial barrier, even one as firmly lodged as the door to the Oval Office.

Indeed, Malaysia is hungry for the emergence of one such revolution, though admittedly it will be a great many years before she will become ready to let a non-Bumiputra represent her interests. But I truly believe that day will come.

Please CLICK HERE for comments on the post (link to Facebook Note)

OBAMA - SYMBOL OF HOPE !

Now that I know all things are possible...

I have hopes for Malaysia

We need CHANGE!

We need HOPE!

I BELIEVE IN YOU MALAYSIANS!

YOU CAN VOTE ME!

YES WE CAN!
YES WE CAN!

YES WE CAN!
YES WE CAN!

YES WE CAN!

YES WE CAN!
YES WE CAN!

YES WE CAN!
YES WE CAN!
YES WE CAN!

MEET YOUR

NEW PRIME MINISTER

AND

DEPUTY PRIME MINISTER