Who would guess that I could dig out dirty things like CORRUPTION in university over lunch? Well, not that it was too hard. In fact, I didn't have to dig it, my friend just plainly told me about the corruption plainly... and enthusiastically.
To give some idea to what I might be talking about, lets talk about getting a professorship - like getting Prof. Joel Lee...
It takes quite a bit to go from getting a PhD to getting a Professorship. Just as there is a corporate ladder from slave to CEO,
1. There is a ladder in the university.
Get a PhD
Lecturer
Senior Lecturer
Associate Professor
Professor
Yes, the bottom of the ladder is a PhD.
2. A professor cannot be fired from their position
To grant a person professorship is to acknowledge that they have made significant contribution over the years to the field that they are in. A committee in the university decides whether they should (or not) award professorship to lecturers.
3. The criteria to pick lecturers promotion includes things like :
a) Ability to teach
b) Research capability
c) Contribution to the field
d) And other related things
Now that we are familiar with the basics:
Of course, the world would be a better place if everything goes accordingly. But we know we live in a pretty messed up world - there are professors who do not deserve their title, and there are those who slog for nothing.
I know of a lecturer who cannot teach, and it is famed among the PhD students that he couldn't care less about the work that the PhD students under his supervision does.
His name is...
Professor ...
Somebody
I wouldn't reveal his name of course! You want me to get kicked out of University?
Oh wait, shit. I'm not supposed to hint you which...
Well, one of the reasons he is still around is that he is a professor and he can't be fired.
But the main reason is probably because he has PhD students under him that keep churning out research papers for him. Let me do some explanation:
Every year, Universities are allocated a certain amount of money by the government for research purposes. This money is called a research grant.
The amount of research grants that a university gets is directly proportional to the amount of research they can do - which is the amount of research publications that they can have. One of the main factors that determine University rankings is the research.
When you are a Professor and PhD students work under your supervision , you get to share their research paper - as though you jointly researched the issue with him. Some professors DO work together in the research, others simply just don't. This means, as long as your student churns out papers, the University will recognize YOUR contribution to help them get grants and improve their rankings.
Do I have to mention that the criteria to promote a lecturer now is a load of trash? Well, not totally trash. But it is just terribly different from what it ought to be like.
Anyway, back to Professor Somebody.
He doesn't even KNOW what is the title that his PhD student is producing - it is not like he could care any more about it.He gets his salary from the University anyway since he can't be fired.The university loves him because he brings in the money.He can't teach (he could be a genius for all I care) - but it is okay since he has some pretty genius PhD students.
Well, I'm mentioning one of the worse ones. There are good lecturers that I have.
He started teaching in University in his 20's. Almost 30 now, and the students in the School of Electrical Engineering knows his capability.Graduated from Physics, but he is as competent (if not more competent) if compared to other engineering lecturers. Math Olympiad. He does good programming, physics, statistics, calculus, and of course engineering. He sets one of the toughest exam papers, his assignments are killers. But this is one thing I really appreciate about him...He gives his time to his students. He is ALWAYS open for consultation. He explains things carefully and patiently when I don't understand. The last time I wanted to ask him about something, he was on his way out of his office, so we talked about my academics stuff as we took a walk around university. He bought me coffee as we sat down to talk.
Where do you get this kind of lecturers?
If anybody should be a professor, he should be a professor
Well, he is not. He is loaded with work and he has very little time to do the research that he wants to. I know geniuses having weird hobbies like research - but he doesn't get to enjoy the hobby he deserves.
I believe, part of the fault is because our businessman-Chancellor's board is allocating extra money to the business school instead of the engineering school.
Well, it is easier to churn money out of the business school. They don't need any equipment, and everything is profit! Unlike the field I am in, you need equipment and people who knows how to use the equipment. You may be a genius, but you still need to technical knowledge to make a machine work.
Its just about the money isn't it?
The happiness is just a trick!
The happy meal is
$5.95
(5.95 x 2.4 > RM14)
not so happy
Last semester, I had a Cambridge PhD teaching me. Let me tell you, his teaching is hopeless. Any lecturer is better than him. He speaks monotonously to himself during class and sets low grade exam papers which are just a copy and paste of past year exam questions.
Oh wait, maybe it was the Professor Somebody who set the papers since they both teach the same subject!
What kind of Electrical Engineering students do they let into top universities?
Its stupid.
Rowan Atkinson studied Electrical Engineering in Newcastle, continued his MSc in Oxford. Yes, Bean is an Oxford grad.
Just when you thought getting a research paper published couldn't be worse - Many times, research publications are accepted because the editor of the journal gets a part of it. Or rather, they can be rejected because the editor was not given an intellectual property bribe.
The editor of a research journal (who resides in Denmark) just somehow appears along with the other 3 researchers in a Korean University (who actually did the real work). Of course, the editor gets the fame and the benefits that come with it. If the Korean researchers didn't "bribe" the editor, perhaps their paper wouldn't even be reviewed (to be considered for acceptance). It works both ways.
Call me naive, but I did expect less corruption in the academic field. I suppose that I have matured a little bit more in my expectations of the institutions in this world.
The best of them are terribly flawed.
The reason I typed this out - is not so much about me being shocked that such a thing could actually happen. Rather, I am typing this out... never expecting corruption to be so common. Well, I know we Malaysians constantly complain that Malaysian ministers are corrupted. We complain that the police force is corrupted. But it works both ways. Supply and demand.
Corruption being so common, I wouldn't be surprised that we might be involved in cases like these one day - if we have not already bribed the policeman the last time we were caught for speeding.
Or perhaps, when we bought pirated VCD... I mean DVD. Technically, we have already taken part with the people who robbed, stolen, bribed and did whatever necessary to get DVDs for 5 dollars each. We just happened to be at the other end of the process. To deny it is to somewhat say the thief didn't rob, the robber didn't lie, the liar didn't bribe - and the buyer didn't know.
As much as I write this, in my heart despising some of the people who has tarnished the once good name of the world of academia - I write this with some knowledge that I have done similar things... just that it was of a slightly smaller scale and nobody cared to talk about it anyway. If I could only see wickedness as it is, without being biased for the scale of wickedness - I would despise myself.
However, the rampant corruption has also helped me to appreciate people who worked against the flow and go unappreciated. Thank you Mr. Unappreciated Lecturer for your dedication.
Its a shame that it would be safer for me that I cannot tell the whole Cyberworld how wonderful a lecturer you are. to save my ass.
Thats just how things go - in the midst of me pointing fingers at others, I realize that I am not spared from the same charges.
Jesus - who sits on the Judgement Throne sees everything.
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