Cost

" Unlike other races, humans have such a short lifespan. Therefore, they always think in terms of 'what can I get out of using this?' instead of 'what is the cost of using this?'"

Loghaire from Arcanum, Sierra

For this whole month, I have learnt things at the cost of others. It costed them something. It costed me their trust. Nevertheless, these are great lessons in life that I could not really think how it could be learnt the other way - seeing what has been done, it is seems easy at this instant to rather not learn the lesson and preserve the relationship...

.

...

Yet

...
.

When I look back a few years from now, I do not know what I will choose. As selfish that I think myself sound, I'd rather risk relationships now than to risk it in the future - its something I want to get over with quickly (yet it concerns more than one person, it concerns more than me).

Isn't a lot of things in life that way? Nothing really ends at us. I do wrong, somebody else suffers too. There are times when I do wrong, and my friend - simply because he/she is my good friend steps in to the picture "unnecessarily" to pull me out/ solve the thing, and suffer for me. I can't blame them, they are my friends.

I've been breathing good friendship for sometime, and I have learnt lessons about trust, commitment and love at the cost of people around me. For that I apologize, I will not be able to repay.

Perhaps one of the things that I can do in honour of you all (but never repay), is to be a friend like you too - perhaps someday somebody will learn things at the cost of me. Simply because we are friends.

Through this all, the memory still stick with me. Because I think of you as my friend, I hurt when I see you hurt for me. Sometimes, I think that it would be good if you did not step in and I would be my hero to take my damage for myself. But I think I would rather die than to have no friends to be there to take the damage.

Friendship is not like accounts, I guess -

Just reminds me of what a lot of people find absurd about Christianity but not about our daily lives.

What? We somehow have sinned and then God had to die for us?
Well, thanks and no thanks - I didn't ask Him to die for ME. I can save myself. Anyway, even if I can't - now that you tell me about this whole sin thing, and I am responsible for sinning against God out of nowhere?

Well, this is kinda like the attitude that I hear when Christians start telling how Jesus loves us and had to go the cross to pay the price of our sins - and not His. So we can get saved.

Sounds absurd huh?

But I guess God loves me enough to show me how it could be played out with other humans too in an average day.



I remember watching "The Passion of The Christ" and I cried like a baby, in my heart i was saying "Jesus, don't die for me, I'm not worth it", yet I suppose good friendship would have had it no other way. Then again, I wouldn't have wanted it the other way. Then again, I ought to just accept the love and live in it. When things are done, "ifs" are no longer relevant.


Lyrics - Love Song by Third Day

Well i've heard a tale that a man would climb a mountain
Just to be with the one he loves
How many times has he broken that promise
It has never been done.
I've never climbed the highest mountain
But I walked the hill of calvary

Chorus:
Just to be with you, I'll do anything
There's no price I would not pay
Just to be with you, I'll give anything
I would give my life away.

I've heard a tale that a man would swim the ocean
Just to be with the one he loves
All of those dreams are an empty notion
It can never be done
I've never swam the deepest ocean
But I walked upon the raging sea

Chorus

(Bridge) I know that you don't understand
the fullness of My love
How I died upon the cross for your sins
And I know that you don't realize
how much that I'd give you
But I promise, I would do it all again.

Chorus


The Road Not Taken
by Robert Frost

									Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
									And sorry I could not travel both
									And be one traveler, long I stood
									And looked down one as far as I could
									To where it bent in the undergrowth;
									Then took the other, as just as fair,
									And having perhaps the better claim,
									Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
									Though as for that the passing there
									Had worn them really about the same,
									And both that morning equally lay
									In leaves no step had trodden black.
									Oh, I kept the first for another day!
									Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
									I doubted if I should ever come back.
									I shall be telling this with a sigh
									Somewhere ages and ages hence:
									Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
									I took the one less traveled by,
									And that has made all the difference.

Thank you Jesus.
Thank you my friends.

The day may come when I turn evil
and all you deeds forget - though I wish not
But for the good deed you have done
Please never regret - you have made your impact.
The day may also pass by
Me living in a fashion as though I were ignorant
of all you have done
But somehow, God will see to it
that nothing goes wasted in His economy.



Sorry, but thank you.