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Monday, February 11, 2008

A Dream

I was having quite a bad dream last night.

I was in school, and I got frustrated with a teacher. I have no idea how we got into the toilet - but I killed her there and flushed her down the toilet bowl. Now, nobody knew who killed her and an investigation went on. In my dream, I just know that they will never find out who the killer was unless I tell.

After killed her, I tried to continue on with my life. I heard a rumor from the investigation team about a sanitary pond which the toilets in the school were connected too. They were expecting to find her corpse there. Although I was actually on my way to a birthday party, I used a different route to go to check out the pond first - only after that, I went to the goodness; yet I walked in such a way so as to avoid letting other people know that I came from the sanitary pond.

And at another scene, I was involved in some football advertisement, and the Ronaldo guy was part of it too.

In my dream, I was prospering well in my social life, and everything seems to be blooming. Yet through all these, I knew quite well in my dream I was a Christian. I will have to surrender to the police one day. And the punishment for the murder was death, or in my dream it was a very long sentence, something like 30 over years.

Looking at all the current successes, I didn't know how long I wanted to delay it. In a weird way, I don't know why I never did consider not telling - perhaps it is something to do with convictions.
In my dream, I lived each day in hopelessness. I know that no matter how great I become, it will end up as nothing in a very short while. I could no longer enjoy anymore things. I always had to hide. Didn't try to hard, for in my dream, I was too smart for the police - yet I couldn't relax.

There wasn't an ending to the dream. I just continued feeling that grief until I woke up and



THANK GOD IT WAS A DREAM!

I can't imagine living life like that. Well, in some sense, yes I can - but its mad. I can't fully explain the despair that I went through - you gotta dream it to feel the sadness and the weight.

Then I thought to myself - perhaps this is a bad dream for a good reason. Isn't human life the same way?

We all have committed crimes - some in the light, most of them in the dark. Some of them in our words and deeds, much more of them in evil intentions that could not materialize due to our lack of power.

While in prosperity, prosperity sometimes is like wine - making us forget of the judgment to come. In the midst of all the success, I too forgotten for a while. But for most of my dream, I was sober.

We all have a judgment to face in the end, and the idea to hear The Judge say "guilty" would be dreadful. There was no Jesus to trust in my dream, no Jesus to pay the price of my sins and to give me forgiveness, no Jesus to make me right before the police....

But in real life, on this side of the world, if only we would trust in Jesus that has died for our sins - we would not have to go through the misery that I went through in my dream... A hopeless end

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