Patients

No, it is not patience. Though I think I have little of it anyway.

With the recent increase in the death of people I know and some sick friends...

I have been considering a few things that patients have to face.

1. Fear of Death
The sicknesses these days seem to kill more and more people. A fever is no longer just a fever. It could be dengue fever, it could be this or that. The people that I know are sick recently - 2 died, another 3 would die without intensive treatment and some form of operation. I recently found a new friend - she has some sort of blood cancer. She would faint, she feels weak all over. Just today she went to the toilet 8 times, diarrhea. Headache so bad that she cannot sleep well, fever in the middle of the night. Perhaps these are not as bad as the thought of dying. Though all men die, men who fear death are few.

"Saya selalu fikir - ntah apa jadi kalau orang mati. Negatif kan? Ntah la, susah nak tidur. Pikir aja..."

Andriany Efendi

2. Fear of Loneliness
One friend who just died recently, always had at least 5 people in her ward every time I see her. Andriany had an average of 1 person every time. I have known people who averaged less than 1. There are many more in government hospitals who can forget about hoping to see their relatives. They are more or less stranded in the hospital. I remember the last time i was sick for around 2 or 3 days. On one of the days, I was totally alone. Although I still had great friends, and that I was only lonely in a "physical" way, I felt as if I had no friends. I can't exactly imagine what it is like to be left alone for a few days, let alone weeks and months. I think, loneliness can be much scarier that death - most of the time. Its hard to think that somebody wants or love you or see you through when you are sick, weak, no longer as physically appealing as you are, and giving much trouble.

3. Fear of change
So many things could be different. Change for a student could mean not catching up with studies. To some this means little, to some this means much. But for those who are paying the medical bills - there could be a lot of change. While planning for my University application, I knew my dad was planning change in his savings and investments. A little friend I know, Kah Kit, 6 years old had leukemia. Excluding the operation, simply taking care of him and maintaining his health before operation in SJMC cost his family RM60,000 within 2 weeks. There are other things such as "what if nobody wants to employ me after I am well? since I might no longer be that reliable anymore". This is probably not that common, but I do have some HIV friends who has such fears and disappointments - they get tired easily due to their sickness.

These fears comes in all forms - every fear in a few forms at one time, sometimes...

What if nobody donates platelets for me? No matching bone marrow? Finances? Friends? What if the doctor is lying to make me feel better before I die? etc.

This is the reason why all you strong men out there ought to go donate blood and visit patients in hospitals! Here is the "trick".

1. Go to a hospital
2. ask for a person who needs blood the most
3. Donate it to that specific person
4. Ask for room number
5. Visit at least once a week, more frequent if possible


Something for males:

1. Only males can donate platelets. Or at least this is what the nurse told me in SJMC, males have a certain blood pressure which women do not have.

2. Do some one else a favour when you can't get anything out of it. I get a weird idea that females derive a lot of ideas about you when you do something like that.

3. Go on a hospital date through blood donation! Practice some communication skills and "comforting people" skills.

4. Not being chauvinistic or anything - but you are always more fit, and you don't exactly have period. So donate. Your blood is free. Be a man, do the right thing!

5. From point number 4 - males by birth, men by choice!